How To Tell A Real Cowboy From A Stampede Cowboy

… works with horses and cow and knows his way around the farm or ranch.

… works in an office tower. And probably takes his boots off under his desk because they pinch his toes.

… does not wear shirts emblazoned with big, gaudy logos, unless he’s riding or competing with help from a sponsor.

… thinks ads all over a shirt give him barn cred, or something. But really, he just looks like a walking billboard.

… is humble and polite. He uses words like “miss,” “sir” and “ma’am.”

… is known to cat-call the ladies and crush empty beer cans on his head. He forgot his manners at the parade and won’t likely find them again until Stampede is over.

… has horse and cow crap on his boots.

… has a bit of crap from a porta-potty on his boots — and maybe a bit of his own urine.

… drives a truck.

… drives a truck with testicles attached to the hitch.